Bambazonke Drops Another Bamba
BZ's latest comment trumps what I intended to post tomorrow.
For the benefit of new readers, KKA refers to the mythical symbolic head of Eclipse, Kaptain Kool Aid, who upon drinking the magic kool aid only brewed in New Mexico from a nearly extinct mushroom, KKA is able to visulize events that no one else can see.
KKA is not the same individual as kka who often contributes to the blog but does not drink the same magic kool aid and therefore sees things more like what us mortals see.
Here's Bamba's questions to KKA:
KKA, this Eclipse Magazine is just the type of hype that one could expect from this flim flam outfit? Here are some of the questions I would pose to KKA based on information in the comic release if I was an aviation writer/journalist;
"It’s official. The FAA has awarded Eclipse Aviation its FAA type certification on the Eclipse 500™ jet. As this magazine is being distributed, we are already delivering the first production models" of our revolutionary jet. We are proud to have delivered the very first production jet to Dave Crowe and the second to DayJet."
KKA: just how many of these wonder machines have been delivered now? Does the EA-500 really have a "Type Certificate", or was that just a little misprint "Provisional Type Certificate" maybe, at 5800 lbs, not as the rest of your propaganda machine says 5950 lbs. Is this the kind of butt kicking you boasted about in an interview recently or did we miss something?
"By August 1, we are scheduled to have 12 Eclipse jets in the production line . By the end of 2006, we plan to be manufacturing 1.2 jets a day."
KKA we hear so much about how this wonder company of yours is on the cutting edge, how about updating this comic strip and telling us just how many you delivered to retail customers in 2006, and what your daily production rate is? This ezine of yours does not reflect the current status, and you are misleading the public, again.
"All of us at Eclipse are obviously excited about where we are today. We’ve proven all the critics wrong no matter how they twist the facts. And we will continue to prove them wrong."
KKA, as everyday goes by, and the last time I counted we are 40 days into this year, I see zero deliveries, just who are you proving wrong? What facts are being twisted, you have not produced any facts to be criticized..
"In publications ahead, we plan to share information from the Eclipse Owners’ Club, which is being formed very quickly now that we’re into production."
The Eclipse owners club being formed quickly now you are in production? I guess you meant to say as quickly as we can produce, the Eclipse owners club will be performed, I suppose this is another one of those facts that are being twisted..
"Eclipse, we hope, will be the kind of company with which you want to continue doing business."
KKA, is really the kind of company that you think the world wants to deal with? As everyday goes by, this is becoming more and more of a joke. Your company does not communicate with it's position holders, it makes claims (NBAA Range) that when asked for data to corroborate the claim, you cannot produce this. EAC is a company that went from being transparent to one that is highly secretive, EAC places onerous restrictions on data that position holders who have parted with huge up front payments should be entitled to, like a POH. No this company does not meet the profile of a company that people want to continue to deal with.
"FAA type certification has been achieved. The champagne bottles are empty and the entire Eclipse Aviation team is back hard at work on the next phase of business: ramping up production and delivering quality airplanes on time."
KKA, so tell us once and for all, do you have a TC, can we see this document? When was it awarded? Don't you think that one of the obstacles you have created for yourself is with this hype of yours you have created the perception that EAC is a company that really needs to be watched, particularly by the FAA. Don't you think that your concept of what these credentials are is so out of perspective. Don't you think the use of words such as delivering quality airplanes on time should be deleted from the lexicon of EAC..
• The first Eclipse 500™ was delivered to Dave Crowe
• The second Eclipse 500 was delivered to DayJet
• Nine Eclipse 500s are being delivered in the first two months of production."
KKA, come on, let's get a confession from you that this statement is patently false, it is written in past tense, i.e. the event has occurred. Just how many planes have you truly delivered? Really none? Don't point to Cessna, they are not making claims on the number of planes they have delivered.
"No matter how many articles are written, brochures published, videos created, or speeches delivered, it is inevitable—people simply cannot get enough of Avio! Frankly, we can’t either. Yet the reality is that Avio is such a comprehensive, feature–rich system that the traditional means of disseminating product information simply aren’t adequate. To understand and appreciate Avio, you must experience it. And that is exactly what you will be doing soon in your own Eclipse 500™ jet!"
Right, so where are all these instructional videos, they are not in the hands of the position holders. This wonderful Avio, that has no GPS, no DME, prevents this wonder plane from flying above FL-240, at which altitude the plane has a range of less than 700 miles, great stuff, tell us more...
"Don’t be fooled—the Eclipse 500 is not your daddy’s jet. Instead, the Eclipse 500 is a no–compromise aircraft, offering standard features like autothrottle, smart crew alerting, electronic checklists, control–based system synoptics…and the list goes on. Total Aircraft Integration means more for less, which is the Eclipse Aviation definition of value."
KKA, Not our Daddy's jet, really...don't you think our Daddy's jet out performs your little plane any day of the week? Note I said you little plane, I did not say out performs your claims, that is another matter altogether. Autothrottle, yeah right, another slip of the typing keys, don't you know how to spell FADEC, isn't this what you meant to say? Big difference between FADEC and autothrottles.. BTW, is the FADEC working? or is it just another one of those wild claims.
"To date, pilots of all experience levels have had the opportunity to fly the Eclipse 500 (see Bill Nutt’s story on page 12)."
Really..I read Bill Nutt's flight, this is the one where you only let him go to 3000 feet. Great article and the plane was really shown how it performs in it's normal operating environment. Point to a real flight test, with a real aviation journalist, and we would love to read that article.
"The bird’s extremely benign handling characteristics coupled with its outstanding performance capabilities make it very difficult to get yourself into a sticky situation."
KKA, if this bird is so benign why is it that we recommend upset training..yes I have read all the stories about how safe this is supposed to make things.. Just how many jets have been lost in upsets so I can evaluate this..
"The spool time of the Pratt & Whitney 610Fs is almost instantaneous, resulting in turboprop–like acceleration and deceleration rates."
KKA, Gee they look like such little engines, how do they provide a the same deceleration as a turboprop? This another one of those wild claims or something you can back up?
Here is some flight training provided in the magazine for people wanting to be well on the way to flying their Eclipse jet:
"Preparing to Fly the Eclipse 500
FLY GLASS: It doesn’t matter what type of glass or what airplane you get your hands on, just fly glass. A GNS430/530 or MX–20 does not count. I’m talking a fully glass airplane with at least a primary flight display. Get used to interpreting critical flight information such as airspeed, attitude, and altitude on a glass display.
DON’T BE LAZY: When practicing in a glass aircraft, be sure to actually practice. Don’t do the easy stuff; challenge yourself. Never accept the visual approach. Practice flying an instrument approach as many times as you can, couple it to an autopilot, and even practice the missed approach procedure. The best conditioning that you can do for yourself is to sharpen your skills as a single pilot in high–workload events. Of course, don’t forget your safety pilot.
USE THE ECLIPSE TRAINING MATERIAL: New training material is in development that will help you learn the Avio system, and it will be coming to you in advance of your official training. This material will be invaluable to you. The more you use this material, the better prepared you will be for your initial type training course. Take my word for it; you’ll be glad you did.
By applying these simple pointers, you are well on your way to a simple transition into your Eclipse 500 jet. You’re going to love flying and operating this airplane. I’m sure of it!"
Great, read all that, got it, where is my little jet so I can go fly now?
For the original Ezine transcript check: