Sunday, July 15, 2007
ECLIPSE AVIATION FIRES ECLIPSE AVIATION CRITIC
July 15, 2007
Albuquerque, NM – Vern Raeburn, President & CEO, announced today that his company’s ties with Eclipse Aviation Critic had been severed. “This outfit joins a long line of those who have failed to meet our company’s high standards,” said Vern gravely. “First it was Williams with the engines, then Avidyne with avionics, then United for training,” he sighed, “And now we have to part ways with Eclipse Aviation Critic.”
“We’ve given them every chance that we could, but they just can’t get ‘er done. The quality of criticism on the web log has declined by any reasonable standard. We think there is a failure in the blog’s leadership to set a good example. The debate has degenerated to the point that they are questioning whether I could fly our Eclipse 500 most of the way across the country,” added Raeburn. “Remember the Allies used gliders at Normandy and the Germans invaded Crete with them. It’s real quiet for the last hundred miles in our jet and so far there’s been no extra paperwork on landing.”
“But I digress,” said Vern. “Of course, we are open to consistently good introspection, and even criticism of our company and product. We are replacing Eclipse Aviation Critic with a much improved blog. It will be called Eclipse Aviation Critic XP, for eXtra Performance. We wanted to use NG for New Generation, but that was taken.”
“The new web site will offer better functionality and performance thanks to proprietary Eclipse Aviation software and hardware. We borrowed leading edge technology from the Eclipse cockpit suite and will be able to display Jeppesen enroute and terminal charts on the web site. We expect to be online in August and are accepting modest deposits. Early adopters will get reduced monthly pricing for access. I will personally edit each entry to assure the high standards you have come to expect from Eclipse Aviation.”
The tulip mania peaked in the Netherlands during the 1630s. The black tulip was the most sought after, until found to be biologically impossible.